Friday, May 15, 2009

What defines you?

I know a lot of people who define themselves by one aspect of who they are. "I'm gay", "I'm black" (oh, sorry, African-American), "I'm a Catholic", "I'm a mother", "I'm an IT nerd", "I'm a gun nut", "I'm a conspiracy theorist", "I'm a collar-popping douchebag" get the idea. Sometimes these labels come from your parents, or your heritage, and you've never known anything else. Sometimes, you find out something about yourself, like sexual preference or collar-popping propensity, and you're so happy to finally find others like you, this becomes everything about who you are. No decisions are made without considering what others like you will think. I think if most people stop to think about who they really are, they'll find that being defined by just one part of the whole is really a disservice.

Personally, I have been having a hard time connecting with people at work, because I don't want to be friends with them. They don't grapple. Then, I realized that I was doing the same thing that I see other people doing, and defining myself as a grappler. That's not all I am. I'm also a wife and an IT nerd and a chick who isn't too good at being one, and a blonde and a million other little things. I wouldn't want anyone else to write me off as "just a grappler", and I was a little disappointed with myself when I realized that I was doing it on my own. It's time for me to stop dividing people into grapplers or civilians and get to know these people I've been working with since last fall on their own merits. They're actually a fairly interesting bunch, including a semi-pro hockey player, a semi-pro bass fisherman, a native of Uganda (I think), and so on. Interestingly enough, if I asked them to label themselves, I think Christian scores high on each list. Makes for an interesting dynamic, for sure.


  1. Excellent post. Very thought provoking.

  2. My favorite label..."collar-popping douchebag". I really did laugh out loud. :)